Monday, September 28, 2009

I'm not one of them :(

I wish I would soon be finding out what I'm going to have, what my baby would be, boy or girl? So many other women I know are.
It brought tears to my eyes reading a blog post about it, finding out this weekend what my sister-n-law is going to have.
Knowing I'm not one yet.
I will just appreciate what I got
I so want to cry, I think I will

Friday, September 25, 2009

I can breathe again

I can breathe again.
That pain I once had is OVER
I can accept that other women are pregnant and that I am not
Yeah I'm still a little disappointed, but this is not a game, and I know my day will COME!!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Power of prayer

Everything we pray for we get.
God is a GREAT GREAT God.
He works all miracles.
I know we will deliver a healthy baby soon.
I can feel it.

And so it stops...

The bleeding finally stopped today. I do feel some cramping though so we will see.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm not gonna lie

I'm not gonna lie.
It hurts so much knowing that people are pregnant with the 2nd child, and I'm not
It hurts so much knowing people are pregnant and I'm not
I so wanna cry................

I am getting better at loving my son & appreciating what the Lord has given us.
We are so so so fortunate.
But it doesn't stop the tears from falling................

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

September 2nd

On our 3rd anniversary I found out I had a missed miscarriage. Bilated Ovum was what I had.
I guess God was saying something's not right with this baby & I need to take him back.
I cried twice.
Am depressed everyday. Just because of my selfish ways of wanting a baby so bad.
My pregnancy test still shows up positive. I'm still bleeding from my medicine.
It's been 2 weeks today.
I don't want a D&C. I'll wait another 2 weeks, then I may have to have one.
I don't want to go under.
Did I mention I'm suffering from depression. I'm sad about my life. I want a bunch of kids to love me and call me mommy.
I want playmates at home for my little one.
I still have faith in the Lord & know he will bless us plentifully