Babies

My cousin had her baby, my sister n law is 5 months pregnant.
I am happy for them.
But sad for me.
There's a knot in the back of my throat, and I can't breathe sometimes thinking about it.
Where's my pregnancy.
I want to be pregnant with a healthy baby, deliver a healthy baby.
How can I be happy for them, and sad for me at the same time.
I am blessed to have my big boy.
I truly truly am blessed.
But we do want a BIG family.
I want at least 4 kids.
I'm an only child, and I don't want my child to grow up lonely like I did.

Please Lord bless us with a big family.