+++

I craved in to the pressure of peeing on a stick today, and it was postive.
This has been an interesting journey.
Here's to a happy healthy pregnancy and birth to my new little peanut.

To pee or not to pee that is the ?

Those pregnancy tests that say pregnant, or not pregnant aren't fun.
The ones that are fun are the ones where you have to search for a line.
People even break the tests open to search for that line.
LOL
I know I did once, or twice.
I'm on 5dpo I know it's too early so I've decided not to pee on a stick.
I'm holding out till Dec 2nd.
This is really really hard.

That darn flu

Looking back why did my husband & I both have the flu during our ovulation time.
Doing research online they were talking about sperm production can be down because of fever.
What are the odds that we are trying, and we both get a 24 hr bug through or system. Not 1 week flu, not 2 week flu. A 24 hour bug, when we are trying to conceive.
Doesn't that suck, it's like someone is saying it's not meant to be this time,
OR
And I do like this one better, since we tried so hard while we were sick we will make it happen.
If you believe you will receive.

Crampy Crampy

I've been having crazy period cramps, and I'm only on day 3dpo.
Now I've had that with my 2 pregnancy's too.
What's up with that.
Of course I think I'm pregnant.

Pee on a Stick Syndrome

I'm obsessed with peeing on a stick.
I did it, knowing that I probably just ovulated, if I even ovulated.
I did it with a OPK test which was +.
Is something wrong with me or what???
So I am going to wait till December 2nd to test. Yes you heard me RIGHT! AHHH that's 12 days away. Well the Thanksgiving Holiday will get my mind off of it. But when I get back I know I will want to test.
I'll write on my blog to help me through this therapy.
Anyways the worst part is that I could've sworn I saw a postive line for the pregnancy test. My imagination just amazes me sometimes.

Ovulation

I have had 5 postive in a row OPK+'s.
Of course I think I will have twins right. Haha
Well apparently I had a 24 hr bug, and since my body was sick I didn't ovulate when it thought I would ovulate so my tempeture spiked up, then went back down, and now it's up again. So I think I ovulated yesterday.
That egg sure did want to come out.
I hope it got fertilized and is working its way down to implantation, and cells are dividing.
YEAH!!!

Tylenol

Great I think Tylenol has affected my ovulation

Something in the back of my mind told me not to take it, but I've had headaches all week.

I feel so upset about this.

A prayer for baby #2

My body seemed like it wanted to skip ovulation. I've been having ovulation pain, but no egg white fluid & no positive opk.
What's the deal.
I'm going to update this blog more because all sorts of things are going through my head about baby #2.
I want it so bad. I thought I would ovulate this weekend. I guess I was stressed a litte this week.
I wonder what I could do to make myself ovulate.
Mmmmm
I'll start with a small prayer.

God please allow me to get pregnant again this year and deliver a healthy baby next year.
We would love to be the parents of two beautiful babies next year.

Thank You Lord

All is good in the hood

You know I was reading on the internet.
Searching for clues about sperm morphology.
And I read about other people getting discourged and finally they got pregnant.
I read it again too.
And hey that's what happened to me.
Not once but twice.
It's possible.
You just have to keep trying is what one poster says.
I know we can do this because you can do all things through Christ. Yes indeed.
So we may take a little longer than the average Jo-Blow.
But it WILL HAPPEN!

Go Me

I have a heart that is not filled with jealousy or envy.
More & More bloggers are getting pregnant. As I wait for my turn.
But when I read a title of a post, and thought something bad would happen to this first time mom, I stopped and said please Lord don't let her have to go through what I just went through.
I do have a heart for other people.
Go Me.
I'm HEALING YEAH!!!!!!!!

Bad day today

Let's just say today was a really bad day. I felt like BREAKING SOMETHING AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Can start now

Well I ovulated, and now am waiting for my period.
Did we try this cycle.
Of course we tried this cycle.
The doctor said wait till I gett my period before trying.
I didn't wait.
I took a pregnancy test, it said negative.
I think I have spotting, like all the way up in there.
I knew that ovulation was coming when I saw the egg white fluid, thank you God.
And tested and finally got positive on the ovulation test.
I'm back in business.
So yeah we tried.
I thought I would be happy either way, if I get my period, or if we get pregnant.
But honestly seeing that "not pregnant" sign on the pregnancy test gave me a low feeling.
I was upset about it.
So my period is due with in the next 2 days.
I'm still taking my temp.
If it doesn't come by thursday I will test again.
I feel stupid for waisting one test away, when I was "only" on cycle day 9.

But the good news is that my body is back in business!!!!

Hopefully PROGRESS SOON

Babies

My cousin had her baby, my sister n law is 5 months pregnant.
I am happy for them.
But sad for me.
There's a knot in the back of my throat, and I can't breathe sometimes thinking about it.
Where's my pregnancy.
I want to be pregnant with a healthy baby, deliver a healthy baby.
How can I be happy for them, and sad for me at the same time.
I am blessed to have my big boy.
I truly truly am blessed.
But we do want a BIG family.
I want at least 4 kids.
I'm an only child, and I don't want my child to grow up lonely like I did.

Please Lord bless us with a big family.

I'm not one of them :(

I wish I would soon be finding out what I'm going to have, what my baby would be, boy or girl? So many other women I know are.
It brought tears to my eyes reading a blog post about it, finding out this weekend what my sister-n-law is going to have.
Knowing I'm not one yet.
I will just appreciate what I got
I so want to cry, I think I will

I can breathe again

I can breathe again.
That pain I once had is OVER
I can accept that other women are pregnant and that I am not
Yeah I'm still a little disappointed, but this is not a game, and I know my day will COME!!!

Power of prayer

Everything we pray for we get.
God is a GREAT GREAT God.
He works all miracles.
I know we will deliver a healthy baby soon.
I can feel it.

And so it stops...

The bleeding finally stopped today. I do feel some cramping though so we will see.

I'm not gonna lie

I'm not gonna lie.
It hurts so much knowing that people are pregnant with the 2nd child, and I'm not
It hurts so much knowing people are pregnant and I'm not
I so wanna cry................

I am getting better at loving my son & appreciating what the Lord has given us.
We are so so so fortunate.
But it doesn't stop the tears from falling................

September 2nd

On our 3rd anniversary I found out I had a missed miscarriage. Bilated Ovum was what I had.
I guess God was saying something's not right with this baby & I need to take him back.
I cried twice.
Am depressed everyday. Just because of my selfish ways of wanting a baby so bad.
My pregnancy test still shows up positive. I'm still bleeding from my medicine.
It's been 2 weeks today.
I don't want a D&C. I'll wait another 2 weeks, then I may have to have one.
I don't want to go under.
Did I mention I'm suffering from depression. I'm sad about my life. I want a bunch of kids to love me and call me mommy.
I want playmates at home for my little one.
I still have faith in the Lord & know he will bless us plentifully

GOD is an excellent GOD

The Lord has blessed us with a pregnancy.
I will continue to worship him & read his word.
He has been so good to us.
Thank You Lord.

I'm tired...

I'm tired of hearing people say "I'm pregnant again"
Yes these women get pregnant & pregnant & pregnant.
While I sit here and wait for my turn.
It is sad and depressing.
My uterus aches for a baby.
I believe I will be getting my period soon, my temp dropped significantly.
I want to have another baby so bad. Just to be pregnant again.
I'll pray for this

On a side note, I was around pregnant family members this weekend celebrating my son's 1st birthday, and I wasn't sad or depressed. I was happy for them being pregnant with their 1st baby.

My son will have 2 cousins to play with.

My uterus is still achching for a baby.

"Please God bless my husband and I with a beautiful healthy baby in the next couple of weeks,

Amen"

Still Waiting...

I'm 4 days past ovulation, I hope I'm pregnant.

Will this trick work again?

I know I'm destined to be the mommy of 4.
So I'm just waiting, and waiting, and waiting, month after month.
One of the tricks that I believe helped me last time, is holding other people's baby.
Have you ever tried it? You should.
I've held 1 new born (she was a premy too) & 1 one year old.
Both girls.
Is that a sign.....
We will have to wait & see

Everyone around me is getting.....

It's that time of year again...When everyone becomes pregnant.
The latest person is my sister-n-law, who clamis to not be trying. My husbands brother told him. Oddly enough my husband said he didn't sound all that happy. I bet she is.
Now is not the time to be envious or a "hater." I need to be congratulating & happy.
So there will be 2 pregnant ladies at my sons birthday party, remember my cousin is pregnant also.

God Blesses Us All

I can remember the fustraction & relief I felt when we found out there was a flaw in the mophology of some of my husbands sperm.
I was relieved that something wasn't wrong with me, because I thought there was.
Then I was fustrated because of those bad sperm. I was a mean wife taking it out on him. I think I got so baby hungry I didn't know what else to do. But alas I got pregnant 14 short months later.
I have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan. His plan for you may be different his plan for others.
It "WILL" happen when the time is right

Luteal Phase

I'm not taking my temp during this phase. I know ovulation occured & I'm just going to cross my fingers & wait it out...

Well I started my period today for the 4th time since having a baby. This time I didn't test early, I didn't retake my temperature too much, I saw it going down hill, I new it was coming and it came.
I'm not too disappointed, I know the Lord has a plan & we will have baby #2 when the time is right. My husband will be out of a job next month so maybe the Lord is waiting till he gets a job before we are blessed with a baby.
Maybe when I think I'm pregnant, that baby isn't healthy so the Lord blesses me with my period.
All I know right now is I'm so happy being a mom. Yes I would love plenty of kids, but I will wait for it to be my turn.
We will keep practicing till it happens

I want baby #2

I want to have another baby so bad, it's getting to me. I so miss being pregnant. There's this chick who's blog I've been following & she's pregnant again ALREADY. Her baby is only 5 months. At first she wanted to get pregnant back when her baby was 3 months, then she said she wants to focus on her career, and now she's pregnant, and doesn't seem to thrilled. It's just weird how people who have it all, house, $$$, etc don't always get what they want, but folks who are young struggling, living in an apartment, don't have much , get the babies.
Go figure.
I guess it'll happen in God's time.

My cousin

My cousin is pregnant.
Though I'm happy for her, because this is her first.
I'm also thinking to myself, I wish I were pregnant too.
Now I know if I never had my baby, I would be crazy jelouse enraged etc....
But I'm happy.
Now she did tell me a couple of months ago, she's not ready for kids, doesn't want any right now, but her husband does. I guess she gave into the pressure & since everyone else is having babies might as well she does too right...

Of course I'm hating on how QUICK & EASY it was for her, and others to get pregnant.
I mean she just got off the pills.
Anyway's I wish her a good pregnancy..

3rd Cycle

Well we are on our 3rd cycle of trying. Of course I get sad that it didn't happen. But I know God will allow it to happen when it's suppose to.
All we can do is try try try...

Let the ttc journey begin

Well we've just started working on baby #2. This is our 2nd cycle. We've been working hard on this. You know we got to start early.
I think this time will be much more enjoyable since last time was hard. At least I have a 7 month old to distract me and keep me happy.
At least I have 1. Now on for 1 more. I do want a total of 4.
Wouldn't it be amazing if I got pregnant right away this time.
My doctor did say that the second one is quicker.
WE WILL SEE